I still remember trying out for two of the high school sports I participated in, cross-country and wrestling. Both times I was downright casual about the whole thing. There was no excitement, no pre-performance butterflies. The reason for the disinterest: I was a geeky kid without much coordination and I half-hoped things wouldn’t work out. My friends had to drag me to the tryouts and I wasn’t invested.
Fast forward a decade-and-a-half. I’m at a job interview with the owner of the company where I’ve been employed for the last 14 years. I’m super jittery, praying that no one would notice the sweat breaking across my face. The man before me was painting a compelling picture of integrity, passion, growth and success. I wanted this job so badly and ended up a nervous wreck after the interview waiting to hear back on the final decision. It didn’t help that I had been averaging two years at each of my previous jobs. My professional background wasn’t impressive so I was hoping against hope for this opportunity of a lifetime.
Unfortunately I didn’t get the job…yet. Months later I received a call from the same man but for a different position, and I accepted the position. What a tremendous blessing working at this company has been for me! Still, the devastation and loss after not making it the first time around is etched in my memory.
In October 2015, Lori and I found out about ZOE International quite unintentionally. We were doing well for ourselves in Hawaii but, after visiting ZOE for the first time in Chiang Mai, we felt that ZOE was where we could make a lasting difference in people’s lives. Months later, upon coming home after our second visit to ZOE’s children’s home, Lori and I pulled the trigger and started to tell everyone about our desire to become missionaries with ZOE.
The same nervous energy that I experienced during that last job interview began to build. Most days I was elated because we were heading towards where we thought God was sending us. Other days there was a sense of dread that perhaps we had pulled the trigger too early. Even after years of walking with the Lord, I still had to learn to trust Him when it really counts. Why do I need to feel like I’m in control of everything? Am I really in control? Can I trust that He is the Lord of all our circumstances? Even now I can’t honestly say that I’m 100% at peace with our decision but at least I am beginning to flex atrophied faith muscles that have been unused for a long time.
After ZOE’s compassionate yet soul-searching interview process, and after weeks of continued prayer (and, yes, second-guessing our decision), we were accepted as ZOE missionaries in November 2016. Imagine how great our celebration was…and our relief. We look forward to what the Lord has in store for us in the days ahead.